Japan and Christmas...

Except perhaps Valentine's Day, there is no more purely commercial holiday in Japan than Christmas. There's pretty much no religious feeling attached, for starters, but also, there's no real Christmas spirit. It's just an excuse generated by stores to bump up sales. New Year's is the "Christmas" (or whatever your holiday is) in Japan. Family gets together, good food is eaten, traditional presents given- it's the real holiday. But goodness gracious, stores try to force Christmas upon these people. Every shop in town is playing very awkward Japanese versions of famous carols (although once I heard Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You, and that made me happy :) So, no, I don't really like Christmas in Japan. But I am looking forward to New Year's, and I can't wait to have real Christmas with my family next year ^-^

So, my host mom saw my room today and was like, "Nope, no more, you gotta clean your room." But I've developed a very strong aversion to cleaning this specific room because I really don't want to settle into this room. I was fine with my other 2 host families- those rooms were unused rooms that were bare when I got there, and I could settle in as much as I wanted. But this room is not mine at all- it belongs to one of the Nakamura's host daughters who's on exchange now. There are little things that just scream at me that this isn't my room- the flowers on the dresser, the extremely girly bedding and matching carpet, etc. I feel like I'm invading someone's personal space. And in that same sense, I'm also starting to feel a bit strange with this host family. More specifically with my host mom. It's her first time hosting and I acknowledge that, but I constantly feel like I'm being compared to her daughters. She gives me their favorite foods, shows me their favorite tv shows, talks to me like I'm one of them. I'm sure her daughters are wonderful girls, and she's very kind, but I'm not either one of those girls. I am me, I have my own dislikes and likes, I need a bit different treatment because I'm still trying to learn this culture and language. She also worries too much, but that's normal and I don't mind. So while I like this host family, I do feel weird, like I'm almost a replacement daughter. It's just strange.

And here's another big decision I made! I had an epiphany the other day that said I should move to a second year class, but than that epiphany got sorta demolished for 2 reasons. One, I talked with the American English teacher at Kousen about it, and he told me that honestly, the things I'm having issues with are really just normal Japanese teenager things no matter what class. The other thing was that one of the people I like in my class asked told me, "Oh yeah, everyone wants to hang out with you, but we're all shy!" I was like, "Eh, wha...?" That and the people in my class are finally starting to feel less nervous around me- I can tell because they aren't (as) afraid to make fun of me anymore (and I mean that in the we-know-you-well-enough-to-crack-jokes-with-you kind of make fun of, not mean). They've known me for 4ish months and still half-freeze up when I try to talk to them, but if I've managed to progress that far in 4 months, I figure by the end of the year we could be pals. And I don't want to have to start over in a new class with the whole be-nervous-for-4-months thing again. So, am I really happy with my class? Not completely. But I think that while I might've been better off in a different class from the start of the year, now it's a bit late. And I still go to 2-4 everyday for math, so I see those peoples often ^-^ And after that girl told me people want to hang out with me, my brain finally came up with the genius idea to ask some people if they wanted to hang out sometime. Surprise surprise, they said, "Of course! Let's hang out over break!" I honestly have no idea why I didn't ask before. It's so much easier hanging out a) with smaller groups of people and b) outside of school. Please excuse my complete and utter slowness on that XD

On that same tangent, I just want to say that, no, I do not like my Japanese school. On a very basic level, it is sports and structure, and I am music and creativity. I'm sure there are other schools here that would be better suited to me, but I'm not in one of them, so boo hoo. I accepted the fact a while ago.

Still trying to find an orchestra, I've got at least 3 people looking into it now. More on that after break!

Oh, and Mom, I thank you very much for the package :) I'll open the presents when we skype on Christmas. But next time you send a package, please send less food! It disappears in, like, 3 days. I just can't help it. I like my mints and Goldfish ^-^ So for the sake of my weight, health, and appetite, maybe just one or two things next time, pretty please? Although you can send as much gum as you want, I can never have too much Trident :D And you know those Beanie Babies you sent me? For some reason, Beanie Babies Inc. likes making animals with tilted heads, so now I have a turkey and a mouse that sit on my table and stare at me questioningly 24-7. Cute, but at the same time... inquisitive? Hm...

I know I had something else to say, but OH! I finally found out how to use the heater in my room! No more sleeping in 5°C :D But I have to turn it off at night, so I still will have to wake up in the same frozen pit of frostbite-inducing pain. That is my main reason for not wanting to get out of bed in the morning- not tiredness, not laziness- I simply dread the freezing ordeal I know awaits me as soon as I get out from under the covers. And then whoever made school uniforms for my school was obviously not very bright, because a person with at least 30 IQ points would know that being forced to wear THAT @#$@ SKIRT in winter is obviously a bad, bad idea. SO COLD. The guys get to wear their pants with leggings and stuff underneath, but not girls, no way. Socks/tights and a knee-length skirt that sucks. I have nothing witty to say about the skirt. It just sucks.

M'kay, I have to get sleep for the Rotex Christmas party tomorrow and shoot I just remembered what I was gonna write. I watched a birth of Jesus film today at school and it was amusing. But I really do have to go to bed, so...

Good night! Talk you ya'll later ^-^