I have Insomnia

Hello all you guys!

So last weekend Dorea (the new girl) and I went out and saw The Blind Side. It was pretty good, but what made it even better was that it had a lot of subtle jokes and nuances that only someone who knew a lot of English and American culture could get. It actually freaked me out just a bit- I could understand everything! No guessing words or questioning why a sentence was made with weird grammar or not understanding references. I know some of you will think, `Of course you understood, you were born and raised in America,`, but after months of Japanese and bad English conversations (so many words, forgotten...), being able to listen and understand felt really nice. Next time you overhear a conversation or listen to the news or watch a movie, be thankful that you can understand it. Or even better, be thankful that you can speak fluently to the sales clerk at a department store and they`ll understand every word you say. You don`t typically think about language unless you`re writing an essay or something- so think how it is when you have to think through every sentence, guess at grammar, and make up definitions for words you can`t say in that language yet. It`s tough. But on the other hand, since Japanese is so different from English, after this I can`t imagine it`ll be quite as hard to learn languages similar to English, like Spanish and French and such. If I`d exchanged to Argentina or Italy, I`d be practically fluent by now, I bet!

Moving on-

Last week three not-good things happened all in succession, and it really, really bites.

1) After months of asking my Rotary club if my mom coming on April 2nd would be alright, they told me last week that the 2nd isn`t good, that I have to go to a Rotary event on the 3rd and 4th, and could she please come on the 5th? That`s too expensive to do this close, so my mom will either be stuck at the event with me or stuck somewhere else if they don`t let her go for the 3rd and 4th, and if you know me, you know why that sucks especially badly.

2) After months of writing mandatory monthly reports for my host club, I found out nobody has been reading them. I wrote everything I wanted to do in Japan on those reports, thinking someone would read them and help me out. So part of the reason I`ve barely left Shiga/Kyoto over the past 6 months is because no one bothered to read the reports (which I wrote in Japanese).

3) Last week I made a presentation for my class about America and my life in America. Not only did they ask almost no questions, but they slept, read, talked, and did homework throughout it.

I am furious with them, furious with my Rotary club, and overall just in a terrible mood. I`m worried that because I`m this club`s last exchanger, they`re sort of brushing me off. I`m not sure how to get them to listen to me, and that`s not good. As for school, well, this year ends in a week and a half, and then I`ll be with my new class.

Sorry to bog you down with more unhappy stuff- I love Japan, I really do. I`ve got one or two decent friends and my host family is very kind. But I`ve also got a host of problems I feel like were handed to me when they assigned me to this district and club and school, and I`m just a bit frustrated with all of that. I don`t know how much I can blame myself for not trying hard enough and how much I can blame others for not helping me. It`s tricky.

So a word to any prospective host parents or clubs and such: your job is not part time. Ask exchange students often if they are well or if there`s anything they`d like to do.

Talk to ya`ll later.