It's the the evening of the 17th. I leave early in the morning on the 20th. I can't even think about it.
Today was my last day of school. I gave my speech in front of the 3rd year students. I'd written the entire speech in English and was planning on translating it later, but never got around to it... It wasn't too bad. I started out the speech with a bright "Hi!", but about a third of the way in- when I got to the thank yous- I burst into tears. I had to wait a minute before I could talk again, and when I did, my voice was all pitchy and strange, as is when you cry and talk at the same time. I'd practiced the speech before, thank goodness, because I could not see the paper I'd written it on through the tears. At the end everyone clapped long and loud, I gave a little slideshow presentation, and then a teacher ushered me out of the room. They told me it was very nice, and I felt like it was too, so I consider it a job well done.
Back in my classroom, Daishun and Koujirou- the same two guys who I first met in 2-4 last year, remember?- gave me a few presents in front of the class. One was a teddy bear covered with writing. When I went to Mt. Fuji, one of my teachers brought the bear to school and got everyone in my class, a few other people, and a few teachers to write 感想 (impressions? thoughts? English escapes me.) on it for me. Of course, being a class of almost all boys, the bear has demon eyes and fangs, but it's pretty much the nicest thing I've been given here, and I was touched. I really love my class. I am going to miss them.
And now...
Tomorrow I pack and barbecue. The day after is a party on Lake Biwa with a lot of my friends, and then I go back to America. Unfortunately I caught a cold from climbing Mt. Fuji (it was raining like crazy and we couldn't make it to the top because of the dangerous winds. I also got altitude sickness), but hopefully that won't take too much away from these last few days here.
I feel so strange. I know a big part of me is absolutely torn to pieces knowing that I have to leave so soon, but I can still laugh and play around and act like it's nothing. Today when I gave my speech I was crying heaps and couldn't stop, but right afterwards I got up and walked around like it was nothing. It's really strange.
I am going to miss this country. I cannot imagine having to speak English exclusively again when I can speak Japanglish so much more fluently. I am looking forward to being a real student again, but I want my Japanese friends there with me.
As much pain and hard work as this exchange has given me, I've gained so much more than I ever thought I would, and I'm coming back some day.
Talk to you all later (some of you quite soon, and in person)!
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